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I was sitting contemplating the multiple failures, hurts,
wounds, and disappointments that I have endured over the last 3 years of my
life. By the world`s standards—I`m a failure and all washed up. On May 20th
of this year I will celebrate 3 years since I gave my life to Christ. May 27th
will be the third anniversary of my old club kicking me to the curb after 14
years of dedicated brainwashing (laughing).
During the low points, like I`m sure many of us do at times,
I began to cry to the Lord—why? Almost every time I began to sink into despair,
the Holy Spirit quickened me and I saw the passion of Christ in my mind. We
have no right to expect anything more than what our Lord had in His walk on
this Earth. That`s the truth. Some of our brothers and sister, especially now
in the Middle East, must and will suffer for the name of Jesus.
I believe with all my heart that we are in the last hours
(in God`s time) of the human existence. I believe the Lord Jesus will come very
soon, possibly in my lifetime, and that He often strips those He loves of
anything worldly. Now, having said that, it`s a painful process to be stripped
of all of our worldly cares. But…it is vital and necessary. I believe that some
Christians can retain wealth, fame, possessions, etc., and still hold the Lord
as their number one concern. I also believe that God places His mighty and
awesome favor on whom He wishes. However, some of us will be stripped…just as
the Apostles, the Prophets, and the martyrs of God were, and continue to be to
this day.
I don`t compare myself to these men and women, but I do
believe the Lord has stripped me and continues to do so…and I`m coming to a
place of peace with this fact.
If I have nothing to show—materially speaking—for all my
life`s work…then so be it. If I never attain the goals I have set for my life
on this Earth…so be it. Jesus, as far as the word tells us, never owned
anything of real material value. He never really had a home once He began His
ministry. He died broke in terms of the world`s view of success, yet He is the
Mighty King of all creation. He is the first born of the dead.
I`ve decided that I love and trust my Father in Heaven
enough that if I die broke and unknown…so be it. I only wish, at this point in
my life, to tell people about Jesus. I`ve had some measurable success as a
street evangelist and a writer and I`m humbled that God has used a broken wreck
like me to touch lives. I was once the king of a mountain built from ego and
fear…now I`m a humbled nobody that needs Jesus more than anything else. That is
okay by me.
As always, I share these thoughts with the hope that someone
out there needs to hear what I have to say for comfort and assurance. I have a
nice little house, a lovely wife, a motorcycle, and a couple of cars. I have my
health, my family, and my wonderful church family. I have many wonderful gifts
from God in worldly or material terms; however, none of them are deserved or
assured.
The main point I want to stress is that Jesus told us that
the end would be a dark and evil time. He warned us that many would suffer for
His name`s sake. The only caveat He promised us in this life was the reward of
Heaven in the next life. If we are blessed with some kind of material favor in
this life, we should never expect that it will remain with us or that we
somehow deserve it. We should remember that in these last days we may be
stripped completely of all the things we hold dear—accept Jesus. So be it.
God bless.
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