“But his wife, from
behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt” (Genesis 19:26).
The enemy loves to make us look back—don`t look back!
I was riding home yesterday from a great Thanksgiving
dinner. I was relaxed. My women by my side. We were laughing and discussing the
memories of our Thanksgiving Day. We thought of our grandchildren, our kids
(her step kids), and all that God has done in our lives. In comes the enemy.
As we turned into our subdivision, I noticed a car in front
of us. I soon realized it was an old club brother of mine. I saw his colors. I
saw his face. In a mere moment, all the joy left my thoughts and I went down memory
lane. This particular club member was a high-ranking officer that was directly
involved in my banishment from the club. It`s been almost two years now since
that day. These men have no idea how much my life has changed. When I see them,
I can tell they still see the old man—they have no clue.
The truth is that I wish this brother and I could shake
hands, trade old laughs, and forget the past; however, that is not the way of
that world.
About a year ago, I sent a letter to the International
officers of my old club. I prostrated myself in an apologetic letter with the
hope that we could all just move along and forget the past. I received no response.
I later found out that the letter was
read in front of over 100 officers of the club and used as propaganda against
me.
Fast forward. I sat there in my car and watched as this ex-brother
of mine turned down the next street (his sister lives in my subdivision). My
wife looked at me and said something brilliant that I know came from the Holy
Spirit. She said, “Lot`s wife turned to salt when she looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah.
We should never look back.” Wow—this was exactly what I needed to hear.
Over the last two years I have thought about writing emails,
sending letters, writing instant messages on Facebook—and in some cases I have—and
her statement made me ask myself, why? Why would I walk into a den of thieves and
ask them to forgive me for stealing? I asked God to search my heart and my
motives. He revealed to me that it was my ego, my reputation, my desire to be
liked, and my longing for acceptance. Jesus is the only acceptance that we need
in this world.
I would love to give these old brothers a hug and forgive
and forget; however, that will never happen.
God took me from that world for a reason. As a former regional officer,
it was quite unique how I was kicked out and banished—it had never been done
before. I knew ex-members of high rank that were forced into retirement to save
face with the club and the general full patch population. I knew guys who had
done far worse things than I was accused of, and they were not banished. This
was proof that God—not the club—threw me out that day. It was his will and his
answer to my prayer the prior week. I was saved on May 20th of 2012.
As I knelt before the alter that morning I said to God, “Lord, take anything from
me that stands in the way of my relationship to you.” On May 27th—the
very next weekend—I was kicked out of the club and banished without charges, or
a trial by the officers and full patches of my chapter. God answered my prayer.
He did it His way, not mine.
After seeing this ex-brother, I came home and prayed that
God would forever release me from the desire to look back at that life. I`m a
child of the one true King. I`m in college finishing my BA in English/ creative
writing and publication. I`m currently working on four separate manuscripts for
future books I intend to publish. I have a wonderful wife, family, and church.
I`m riding in a motorcycle ministry filled with ex-clubbers who now serve
Jesus. Why would I ever need to look back at Sodom and Gomorrah?
WP
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