Looking back on the past

 “But his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt” (Genesis 19:26).

The enemy loves to make us look back—don`t look back!

I was riding home yesterday from a great Thanksgiving dinner. I was relaxed. My women by my side. We were laughing and discussing the memories of our Thanksgiving Day. We thought of our grandchildren, our kids (her step kids), and all that God has done in our lives. In comes the enemy.

As we turned into our subdivision, I noticed a car in front of us. I soon realized it was an old club brother of mine. I saw his colors. I saw his face. In a mere moment, all the joy left my thoughts and I went down memory lane. This particular club member was a high-ranking officer that was directly involved in my banishment from the club. It`s been almost two years now since that day. These men have no idea how much my life has changed. When I see them, I can tell they still see the old man—they have no clue.

The truth is that I wish this brother and I could shake hands, trade old laughs, and forget the past; however, that is not the way of that world.

About a year ago, I sent a letter to the International officers of my old club. I prostrated myself in an apologetic letter with the hope that we could all just move along and forget the past. I received no response.  I later found out that the letter was read in front of over 100 officers of the club and used as propaganda against me.

Fast forward. I sat there in my car and watched as this ex-brother of mine turned down the next street (his sister lives in my subdivision). My wife looked at me and said something brilliant that I know came from the Holy Spirit. She said, “Lot`s wife turned to salt when she looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah. We should never look back.” Wow—this was exactly what I needed to hear.

Over the last two years I have thought about writing emails, sending letters, writing instant messages on Facebook—and in some cases I have—and her statement made me ask myself, why? Why would I walk into a den of thieves and ask them to forgive me for stealing? I asked God to search my heart and my motives. He revealed to me that it was my ego, my reputation, my desire to be liked, and my longing for acceptance. Jesus is the only acceptance that we need in this world.

I would love to give these old brothers a hug and forgive and forget; however, that will never happen.  God took me from that world for a reason. As a former regional officer, it was quite unique how I was kicked out and banished—it had never been done before. I knew ex-members of high rank that were forced into retirement to save face with the club and the general full patch population. I knew guys who had done far worse things than I was accused of, and they were not banished. This was proof that God—not the club—threw me out that day. It was his will and his answer to my prayer the prior week. I was saved on May 20^th of 2012. As I knelt before the alter that morning I said to God, “Lord, take anything from me that stands in the way of my relationship to you.” On May 27^th—the very next weekend—I was kicked out of the club and banished without charges, or a trial by the officers and full patches of my chapter. God answered my prayer. He did it His way, not mine.

After seeing this ex-brother, I came home and prayed that God would forever release me from the desire to look back at that life. I`m a child of the one true King. I`m in college finishing my BA in English/ creative writing and publication. I`m currently working on four separate manuscripts for future books I intend to publish. I have a wonderful wife, family, and church. I`m riding in a motorcycle ministry filled with ex-clubbers who now serve Jesus. Why would I ever need to look back at Sodom and Gomorrah?  

WP

Forgiveness

I grew up in AA. Alcoholics Anonymous was the bedrock that finally led me to Christ. In all AA meetings (at least those I have attended over a 24 year period) they say the Lord`s prayer at the end of the meeting. One verse in particular changed my life over the last year:

“…And forgive our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…”

I had said these words in 1000 meetings or more over a span of two decades, and yet, I did not live by them. I still attend some meetings now and then. I love some of the friends I have made over the years. If it weren’t for AA I would never have found Christ. When I went through the experience, over a year ago now, of leaving the club I rode with, I had given my life to Christ, but I was still filled with anger and hate. I had years of trash built up inside me, and I had been branded in a way that I knew was false. I wanted so badly to set the record straight, but then, I realized that Jesus gave me the best example of them all.

Jesus went before Pilate and never spoke a word in his own defense. He was accused of many things that were blatant lies. He was beaten and spit on for things he never did. And yet, he never offered a word in defense of his innocence. I`m no saint, but I learned from that example that Jesus is my only defense—he is all sufficient.

I was moved to make amends to some of the people from my past. In the case of my old brotherhood, it was like walking into a den of thieves and asking to be forgiven for stealing, but I had to clean my side of the street. My amends was rejected by most, but that`s okay because it` none of my business. I did the right thing, that`s all that counts.

That was a very personal and difficult action to take. But on a larger scale, how can we ask to be forgiven if we are not able to forgive? This question haunted me. The Lord`s prayer haunted me. I began to see my fellow human beings in a whole new light. The old hate, resentments, and biases began to melt away. I was able to see that people are not the ones who hurt us, it`s the spirit that drives them that does.

I can` be angry or judge those who do to me the same things I have done to others in my past. These are all God`s children—he loves them so very much—and I respect and love my Father in Heaven, so I will respect and love his children. I will forgive their trespasses, their faults, and their actions in the same way I would like to be forgiven myself. 

Forgiveness sets us free. I am so blessed today because I am surrounded by a church body that loves my wife and I no matter what. I wear a patch today that plainly shows I serve Christ. The Bible tells us that if we walk with fools we will become fools. If we walk with men of anger and violence, we will become men of anger and violence. I spent years proving to the world how tough I was—today I want to love people, and smile, and share the joy of my Lord with the world. WP

Bikers and Christ: How do you witness?

I recently read an article about Pastor Tom Hughes. Tom Hughes has been riding for more than 50 years. He rides to many of the larger rallies across the nation witnessing for Christ to other bikers. I saw a story about this during Daytona Bike Week that was written in the local newspaper (forgive me but I forget which one it was). I remember feeling guilty about my total lack of desire to do this type of thing. Many of my brothers in the motorcycle ministry that I now ride with went to Daytona—I did not want to go, the memories are too fresh for me.

I spent over 14 years on the road for my old club. I missed family events, my children growing up, and many other things. Most of this was my personal choice; however, when I became a regional officer in 2008—it became my duty. I have been to many of the big runs. I was clean and sober but I still lived like a 1%`er in many ways. I was not in a 1% club, but believe me, many clubs act as if they wear the 1% Diamond whether they do or not. I respect my 1% brothers. I have many friends who wear the diamond and I respect their lifestyle. They have their way of life, and I have mine. Many of them know if they need a prayer, a flat tire fixed, or a place out of the rain…I would give it in a minute, no matter the colors.

I may never be one to go into the public and witness…I don`t know, but I know the Lord gave me an ability to write and so I write. One year ago, my life made a dramatic change:

I was riding through the streets of my local hometown today thinking about how beautiful the day was as I rode. I thought about how much I love spring –the crisp air, blooming flowers, and general feeling of “life” and renewal.

My mind faded back one year. One year ago, at this time, my life was a wreck. I was in the middle of a horrible political battle in the club I rode with for 14 years. I was a regional officer and had the ear of the highest ranking officer in the club. I was trying to get him to see that a fellow officer was using his political power for personal gain, and that he was attacking my chapter for no good reason. It all seemed so important. It all seemed to be so worthy—none of it was.

I had given a great majority of my time, my money, my family, my self-worth, my loyalty, and at one time or another I almost gave my life for this cause. On May 19^th of 2012, a chapter brother of mine suggested we go to church the next morning and pray. For some reason…I agreed. On May 20^th of 2012 I was saved and came to the Lord Jesus.

My life went into a spiral of events over the next few months. I was banished from my club the very next weekend after I was saved. Members that I loved and trusted for over a decade became my enemies overnight. I was lost and in pain, I wanted revenge, I wanted justice—I needed Jesus.

Time takes time, and hurt takes time to heal. Jesus can heal us in a moment’s notice…unless we choose to hang on to the past. I held onto those hurts for months. My Pastor and others close to me listened, advised, and prayed. One day, I woke up, and my heart had changed. I no longer cared about the past and I had even began to pray for my old arch enemy in the club.

It`s funny how God works in our lives isn`t it. About this time, I received a call from a chapter brother from the old club. He said that he wanted to speak to me and he wanted peace between the old club and me. I agreed, and the process of amends and forgiveness took place. Some of the members accepted my amends—others scoffed—it made no difference to me because I did what was right, I cleaned my side of the street.

Today, I fly a Christian flag on my back. My top rocker says, “Jesus is Lord.” I realized today as I rode that there is no getting around that one. As I ride today or walk in public with that flag—I represent my Lord and nothing more. It helps keep the “old man” dead. I have never been a good witness for Christ but I`m trying to learn. I know that if nothing else, my actions are a witness. If I show genuine love, respect, and concern for those around me, then I am a disciple of Jesus.

It took me about 8 months to realize that God answered my prayer that day in May at the Alter. I prayed that morning saying, “God, please remove anything from my life that stands between you and I.” He did just that, but in a way of his choosing—not mine. Praise God for his wisdom and mercy. 

WP

Photo credit: www.vcstar.com 

Christian Biker Dating website

I was doing some surfing and I ran across this site for Christian Bikers. It promotes dating for Christian Bikers. It also has some pretty good links as well. I don`t know much about this website but it seems to be focused in the right direction, as I surfed through it. I have heard about Christian singles sites that don`t exactly measure up to Christian principles—so—this is not a direct endorsement of the site—I simply wanted to share it with my readers. The site is ChristianBikerDating.com for those who would like to check it out.

I`m certainly no match maker, I have been legally married twice and call myself married to my current bride (we wear wedding bands as well). We found that the financial penalties of “legal” marriage would hurt our funding for college (what a shame, huh?) so we plan to officially tie-the-knot in the future.

I remember having a Christian Brother look down his nose at me when I explained this to him. He said, “You should obey God and get married.” I told him that we were every bit married in the eyes of God as anyone—we just don`t have a paper from the state saying so. I figure it like this: I was legally married twice and cheated on both my wives living as a heathen. It`s a bit late to worry about following the laws of Moses (laughing). I know God put this beautiful woman in my life, and I will be with her until the day I die. She knows it, I know it, and God knows it—that`s all that matters. Since I was saved I`m no longer a “whore-dog” so I figure I`m headed in the right direction.

Why am I sharing all this? I know my brothers and sisters in the wind. Many of you are just like me. You used to party, drink, fight, and have sex with whomever whenever. Christ came into your lives and everything was changed. Some of us were already single. Some of us had to divorce our spouses because they would not change. The Church often gives a conflicting message to believers about divorce. Now that I am in Christ, I will not divorce unless there is infidelity, abuse, or abandonment as the bible says. I do believe it is wrong to divorce for convenience even though I did it twice. I think once you are divorced and saved that the Church should not judge that. But once saved—we have to behave different and try to work things out. Like I said—I`m the example of what you don`t do so don`t think I`m an expert (laughing).

In 2 Corinthians 6:14 Paul writes, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” I believe that we should find like-minded wives and husbands as we walk our new lives in Christ. Paul also tells us not to burn with lust or passion—it is better to get married (1 Corinthians 7:9).

So, I hope this will help a few of my brothers and sisters in the wind find that special Christian someone that God has awaiting you. God bless. WP

 Photo credit: ChristianBikerDating.com